Spending Time with Yourself

It doesn’t come up in conversation much, but before I moved to Roanoke, I spent 5 weeks on a mostly solitary meditation retreat in France. It was beautiful and pastoral. I was about 30 min from the nearest town with no wifi, no phone, no TV. Maybe some other time, we can delve into what I gleaned from that experience and why anyone would want to do that to themselves. But for now, let me tell you this: I have some ideas on how to make it 15 days without loosing your mind (too much).

  1. Practice Compassion: This is a time of huge change, fear, and worry for all of us. This isn’t a vacation and there’s no reason you would act like it. Give yourself some grace to indulge and heal and rest. Eat some chocolate. Take a nap. Watch all of West Wing again. It’s okay.  You are going to tap into some self-soothing behaviors while we collectively grieve. Do things that help you feel better, without judgment, and then check in to make sure they actually help you process. Mantra: “I am doing the best I can with the situation at hand (and so is everyone else).”
  2. Have a Schedule (And Then Keep It Flexible): Wake up and go to bed at the same time. Eat at regular intervals. Set aperiod of exercise each day. And then leave some time for whatever arrises in between. Post your schedule on the bathroom mirror or a wall with blocks of organized to take care of your responsibilities and yourself. If you’re working from home, set that time in the morning for the high brain-power work. This is true for the chore you’re hoping to knock out, or some schoolwork for the kids. This doesn’t need to be scheduled to the minute – in fact, you are valued, and valuable if you don’t do anything ‘productive’ right now! If you’ve got more free time than
    you’re used to, and writing that novel or cleaning out the basement actually sounds good, schedule that into your week.Set aside a few hours a day to work on it and then take time to do something else. Leave the afternoons for something more enjoyable. We are returning to the schedules that we existed in before 9-5 work day or the 9-9 work day and that is a big change for most of us.
  3. Move Your Body: This is more necessary than ever with most of us staying close to home. Get outside! Even just a quick stroll around the block will boost your mood. Gyms, yoga studios, apps, and trainers are posting classes online. Take 20 min each day to move your body in a way that you enjoy.
    1. Center of Gravity Yoga in Lexington – register for daily online classes 
    2. Uttara Yoga Studio – recorded meditations and private digital classes
    3. Down Dog, Yoga for Beginners, HIIT, Barre, and 7 Minute Workout – all free until April!
  4. Be Intentional With Your Connectivity: There is no need to constantly check news and social media. Set some limits on how much noise you’re letting into your head. Maybe even SCHEDULE IT! Intentionally reach out to specific friends and family. Set some digital dates. Write a letter. Phone a friend.
  5. Take Time for Reflection: Taking 5 min to meditate, reflect, practice gratitude, journal, etc will make a big difference in your headspace. You will need a way to process what’s happening and your time at home. If the waters get too deep, there is digital counseling available. I highly recommend the folks at Roanoke Valley Counseling Center and they have moved their services online – reach out!
    1. Journaling Resources 
    2. Insight Timer – my favorite meditation app
    3. Calm App – a patient favorite for guided breathing and meditation
    4. Practicing Gratitude 

During my days in France, I woke up at the same time, ate at the same time, limited my distraction, took daily walks, napped, wrote long long long letters to loved ones, did gentle yoga, and meditated (a lot) . And found that rhythm to be incredibly peaceful. I felt healthy and sane. I was alone but didn’t feel lonely often. When I did have rough, emotional day of loneliness, fear or confusion, I felt like I had room to experience those things and process them, rather than having to rush to the next activity. I spent a lot of my free time writing; given the historic nature of what is happening write now, it’s a great time to dust off that blog or journal.

So hang in there. Find things to enjoy. Put on clean clothes every day. And I’ll see you on the other side.

-Alex

 

More resources for anyone using this time for reflection and meditation:

Creating a Home Retreat – with Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield

Lama Tsony in Natural Bridge, VA – COVID Diary #1